| Submission, Love and Marriage |
(Family Living: Gods Way)Bro. Allan Tigue Sept. 2, 2009 There are five development stages of marriage: 1st Stage: Young Love - First two years of marriage. The honeymoon stage; where dreams are made. 2nd Stage: Realistic Love - 3rd thru 10th year of marriage. A test of true marriage; the most dangerous stage. In the U.S., the 6th year of marriage is when divorce is highest. 3rd Stage: Comfortable Love - 11th thru 25th year of marriage. A state of acceptance of each other's faults and weaknesses. 4th Stage: Renewing Love - 26th thru 35th year of marriage. A stage of acceptance of an inevitable loss of a partner. 5th Stage: Transcendent Love - 36th year and thereafter. Time-tested and strong marriage. Aside from these stages, there are also four words in Greek that explain love: 1. Eros - romantic love. 2. Phileos - friendship love. 3. Surgase - family love. 4. Agape - unconditional love. Agape love is what God wants all of us to have. Genesis 2:20-25: "So the man named all the birds and all the animals; but not one of them was a suitable companion to help him. Then the Lord God made the man fall into a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping, he took out one of the man's ribs and closed up the flesh. He formed a woman out of the rib and brought her to him. Then the man said, "At last, here is one of my own kind- bone taken from my bone, and flesh from my flesh. 'Woman' is her name because she was taken out of man." Man and woman were created for mutual dependency. Two imperfect people, having their own differences are married to become one. How these two people should go about married life? 1. Guidance for husbands a. Assign top priority to your relationship. Ephesians 5:25-33 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church - for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery - but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." A husband's love is a ... 1.) Sacrificing Love 2.) Sanctifying Love 3.) Sustaining Love 4.) Securing Love 5.) Solid Love. Revelation 2:4-5 "Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first." "What you did to captivate your wife's love is the same thing you need to do to keep her love." b. Dare to talk about and show your affection. Proverbs 16:24 "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Song of Songs 1:2 "Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth - for your love is more delightful than wine." Women not only like to be loved, but also to be told that they are loved. c. Listen to understand, without giving unwanted advice. James 1:19 "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." Proverbs 18:13 "He who answers before listening - that is his folly and his shame." Don't try to solve any of your wife's problems unless she specifically asks you. Instead just listen to her, validate her, and let her know that you understand how she feels." 2. Wisdom for wives a. Do things recreationally with your husband. Ecclesiastes 4:9,11 "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work... Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how one can keep warm alone?" Enjoy your husband, Develop intimacy that comes from having fun together. Plan to do things together. Become your husband's best friend by becoming his recreational companion. b. Be your husband's biggest fan. Ephesians 4:29 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs." Remember how you could find so many ways to compliment and encourage your husband. Do that again. c. Provide a peaceful place. Proverbs 17:1 "Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting with strife." Brainstorm with your husband on how you can each make your home of peaceful place. Conclusion 1. It's your job to love your mate. It's God's job to change them. Don't forget the 3 R's: Respect, Romance and Responsibility 2. Every person is unique. Be an expert of your spouse and learn how to love him/her effectively. 3. Success in marriage does not depend on finding the right person but on being the right person. Focus on yourself. 4. The only person who can meet your deepest needs is Jesus. "Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached."
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